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Subject:how do
Time:03:38 am
Current Mood:anxiousanxious
evening is upon us. this fateful night i sit with yet again another tummy ache. As I sit here in the dark i think about my beautiful partner in the other room. I am truly so proud of him, he has successfully done make up for his first wedding. a wedding that inspired ideas for mine which is not in the near future but still nothing hurts to think about it. So Randy sleeps in the other room while i ponder life's little mysteries like where i see my self 5 years from now. but back to him for a moment the wedding was a fairytale one with all 6 brides maids as fairies so randy did the make up for 8 total women in the bridal party. it was amazing his talents never cease to grow and inspire, he has another wedding only the bride this time this weekend, then he was chosen to go to his works university for more extensive training in San Francisco. I'm oh so happy for him, i start my new job on Monday I will be working in a collections department, oh the irony i know haha. I've been off of school for going on two semesters now and don't know when or where i will be returning let alone what i will study, everyone else in my class of monty 2003 graduated by now. well i'm getting tired so i will go for now but i think i will start updating here again

tata
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Subject:so many choices
Time:11:52 am
I'm feeling as everyone has labeled "emo" I hate that a lot though. I look at him and see such an amazing person and have only one to "blame" if you will, God. This is good better Great! that it truly is. I have if nothing else been completely inspired by his passion and devotion amoung much else. I know I am a spiritual being and I want so very much to be close to Him. And he really has a taught me a lot although I doubt very much that realizes what he has done, I love and I don't mean it lightly I do love him. And my love for Him just continues to grow! write more in a bit.
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Subject:last night
Time:03:02 pm
What a blast so much to celebrate and so much to medicate! Who would have thought all in one night this could be a success. An answer to both, a way to do it all. Woke up for the millionth time, sick though. Didn't go to work, but Dad's home for awhile now. I'm glad to be me and I'm glad my bro had a good 18th birthday! I actually didn't feel like I was going to die this time. My current state is definately chill. Anything could happen. I am really feeling good (minus the tummy ache) I think I'm in love I know I'm in like I'm just feeling what life offers us to feel. I'm ready for a challenge I won't be facing it alone. Maybe I'll go swimming, this summer is going to rock, am I a scatterbrain or is this just how i process thoughts. What is a scatterbrain anyways? Oh well I am happy and that's all that matters. *for now anyways*
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Subject:crush
Time:11:01 am
DO you think it's possible to have a crush on someone without realizing it? By doing little things to get them to notice you without knowing your doing them? I dunno. I felt inspired to write a lil entry today Lately I have been watching Bedford Diaries and I think it is interesting because they all do video diaries. < Do ever see someone that reminds you of someone else but they are dressed in a completely different style?> I love random thoughts. Anyways time for my last GPH class before the final.
<3 Krazy
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Subject:MO
Time:08:42 pm
Saw where I was baptised today, and the hospital I was born in. Ate at Adriana's on the Hill. It was yummy, I had the hill boy and some mastacholi. Then we drove in circles lookin for my cousin Patsy's place. we fond it I knocked, no one was home. After we went to this lil Italian Market forsome meat and cheese. Auntie let me pick out some biscotti and piorelli's. She's actually making some split pea soup right now for dinner. I like being here I feel safe and loved. It's nice to get away once and awhile. We also went to the botanical gardens. and tomorrow were goin to the butterfly house. At the botanical gardens it was gorgeous I'll put up some pics when i get home. They think the late owner was gay, lots of nice statues including two women in one. I talked to her a bunch yesterday and today. IT's Douglas' 7th birthday. I'm excited for tomorrow, and i plan to see more of my cousins while i am here without them findin out. catch ya later
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Subject: i guess so
Time:04:28 pm
Current Mood:enviousenvious
For some reason I can only bring myself to write in this thing If I am ticked or sad. So anyways, there is this big thing on my chest right now but really it is small well it should be small anyways. I wish that I could speak out all these different feelings that I have and truly care what was going on in my mind but I don't even know where to finish, begin really but that is and over used phrase so I chose to say finish. There are some people in my life right now that I would rather not id but they are frustrating me with their childish drama, or maybe it is all in my head and really there is nothing going on. I'm not sure. I just miss having someone to talk to and rely on someone I can tell everything to and then we can watch a cheesy movie and eat popcorn and then fall asleep near eachother so I know they are there to keep me safe. I could use a hug, a really really long hug. thats all for now my mood is changing.
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Subject:sadness and happiness
Time:01:37 pm
I am so elated with the new friends I have made they feel like my new family I love tham all so very much we bond and click so well. There's Mike, Janie, Ashley, Mike, Dave, Ash, Lora, Fink, Joey, Jason, Amanda, Heather, and ofcourse, Niko and Koda the puppies. And last but not at all Least: Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad are guardian angels I kid you not they have saved so many kids from the streets including Ria. I thank God for this new found family of mine. We have gone thorugh alot already Laughter sadness and so much fun together. We go clubbin, play pool at the pool hall, movies, mall,Adult stores LOL and ofcourse Denny's my new fav restraunt we know the waitors we go so much hehe. I feel such a connection with each and everyone in my new crew. Wow let me just say my heart is so happy. The other night we went to a club and then came back to my place and got drunk and went swimmin, I was so messed up i called it Drammin LOL then we went to Denny's after we sobered up a bit and I had a blast. Then a few nights ago we played pool. Another night Ria and I went with her friends Karl and Brooklyn to Saguaro Lake and OMG it was beautiful the metoer shower and shooting stars and OMG wow it was heavenly. So excited. So much fun.
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Subject:So Sad To See You Leave
Time:04:23 pm
Current Mood:numbnumb
So Sad to see you leave us, thankfully though, you are in a better place now. Shawn you truley we're an amazing man, you we're especially funny, if anyone was havin a bad day you could cheer them up! I know we did not get to see eachother as often as we liked but I think we both know we loved eachother. I cannot imagine Auntie Pam's pain when she woke up next to you and you having already moved on, I would be in complete shock, She is planning a memorial for you on Friday, I promise I will be there even if it costs me my job. I love you my sweet Godfather and nothing will ever change that. I bet Garry's heart is swelled for mine would be too had I lost my own father. I will be with Pam and Garry and my mom and dad are going too just to say Goodbye to your Body, cause we know your soul is now in Heaven. I have not many words left, I am just so empty feeling, I love you and I will miss you.


<3 Love always your lil Kristina
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Current Music:oasis
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Subject:title of journal so appropriate at all times
Time:10:55 pm
Current Mood:crushedcrushed
I'm tired, and I was in a lovey mood then I was told flat out to "stop it" by someone I havent even met but care about a whole lot so I feel shut down so I'm going to sleep before I cry I hate emotions period. btw Women are superior to men!


That said Good night

<3 Krazy
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Subject:dammit all to hell
Time:03:53 pm
Current Mood:crushedcrushed
I just don't understand why when people don't get their way they go bezerk. I am so angry confused and upset. Maybe I am just better of on my own. Living in an apartment with a fulltime job at the bank and going to school fulltime. I'm so bothered I could just cry scream and sleep all at the same time. I know not possible. I want to just I dont even know, snap my fingers and have clean laundry i relal don feel like doing it, honestly i think i will just go to sleep, i CANNOT wait for NJ I get to leave my worries behind for two weeks!
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[icon] Krazy 4 Life
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